If you’re like most mothers I know, bras are a necessity, not an accessory. Sure, those matching bra and panty sets you see staring at you from the pages of the Victoria’s Secret catalogue are sexy. But sexy is not a priority when you’re a new mom. Getting a shower at least once a week - that’s a priority. So when my twins arrived and the nursing bras came into the house, the racy little 2 piece sets went out. They no longer fit my new, enhanced bosom anyway. In their place came sensible, ordinary, practical bras – bras for “real women”. Generally, mine come off the shelf from Wal-Mart. They’re cheap. They’re functional. They’re grab-n-go. Perfect for a busy mom who requires one-stop shopping. But best of all, I don’t have to deal with some bubbly, 20-something beauty with perky up-where-they-oughta-be C cup boobs telling me what bras will flatter my silhouette. There are no bras that flatter my particular silhouette. Victoria’s Secret is that she simply doesn’t cater to women who are - shall we say – well endowed. No matter though. I knew my size. I knew what felt good. And after 9 years of marriage, I couldn’t care less whether my bras looked good or not. Wal-Mart bras did the job just fine as far as I was concerned. Recently though, my friend Betsy was telling me about a shop she’d found that deals exclusively in bras for “hard-to-size” ladies. I’ve always been a bit busty - even more so since having kids - but I never considered myself to be abnormal by any means. Betsy is a different story. She’s exceptionally large busted. She ranks right up there with Dolly Parton in that department. But me? No way! Wal-Mart carried my size, so I figured I must be somewhat within the range of normal. Still, I was curious. I’d never had a professional bra fitting before. It could be interesting. After a bit of prodding from Betsy, I mustered up the courage and drove to the shop.
There were 2 associates in the store at the time. One teeny-tiny, cute, perky little cheerleader type that I wanted to throttle the moment I saw and an older, rather stout, dour looking German-governess type. I saw them sizing me up while I browsed and it wasn't long before Hitler's nanny approached me. It was obvious they had decided that the little one just didn't have the muscle required for this particular job. She shuffled me off to a dressing room for sizing and before I knew it, she was done. Despite my first impression, she was actually very nice. And very efficient. She marched off and a few minutes later, came back with several different styles and colors of bras. I told her I’d be looking mostly at white bras since I have several white shirts that are kinda thin. She then informed that you should never wear white with white. She had me try on a beige one and then put my t-shirt (which happened to be white) back on. I couldn’t believe it! You couldn’t see a thing! Am I the only one who didn't know that you should wear a beige bra with white shirts?? Why has no one ever told me this?? Anyway, I came out with 2 new bras. I was a lot lighter on cash when I left too. Big boobs are costly to maintain.
BTW ~ I won’t be able to get my bras at Wal-Mart anymore. I’m actually much larger than I thought. I nearly fell over when this lady came back in heaving this huge industrial strength containment device. The engineering that must've gone into this thing is worthy of a Nobel Prize. I thought surely she must've grabbed the wrong size. But as she took a deep breath, heaved 'em up, strapped ‘em in, and finally exhaled in relief, I realized she was right on. This lady knows boobs. And I do look better in my clothes now.
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